What else is new??

A year ago had you told me I would be best friends with the people I am now, I would have laughed in your face.
A year ago if you said I'd have gone to UNO for a semester and then my classes would get dropped and I would be out of school for the second. I wouldn't have believed you.
A year ago if you said I'd be fired from my job.... I would have quit.
A year ago if you told me my grandpa would die out of the blue I would have done anything to fix it.
A year ago if you said I'd be as confused as I am about everything that I am right now I would have asked for the answers.

However............. nobody knew any of these things and still no one can help me with the answers.

All I know now.....
is that I love hanging out with Darren and Blythe. I miss you guys more than you know...
FUCK UNO... I don't need that shit anyway.
FUCK that job. I am so much less stressed without it.
I miss my Paw-Paw and think about him every day almost.

but for the last one.......... fuck my feelings. i fucking tired of hurting... I'm tired of being who I am and having stupid thoughts that will never be true unless they were in my thoughts and dreams.. and fuck you for doing this to me. it's not fucking fair to anyone.




just thought I'd rant my feelings out for a hot second........... i NEVER do this...


I think it's time for me to go to therapy again...